This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
