Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
