needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
