His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
