Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
