i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
