It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
