I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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