I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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