Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
