just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
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You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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