oh god the rape fog is back!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
