True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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