She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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