i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
