I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
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after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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