I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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