We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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