i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize