new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
