wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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