Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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