So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
