I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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