Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
