Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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