What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
