quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
