Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
