so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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