Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
