So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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