He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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