You're so nebulous sometimes
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
