I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize