the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
