my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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