Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
