the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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