i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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