"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize