You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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