the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
