I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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