I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
