There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
