Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
These tits shall not be calmed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
