But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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