I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
