I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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