Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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