im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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