Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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