Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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