Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
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You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
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I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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