I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There r osticjed everywhere
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
