I think im going to throw up on grandma
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
