Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
