Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If that was your dad, he is hot
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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