every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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