you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize