I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
