Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
