she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
