I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
