I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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